Welcome to the Blog.

Here lies some random thoughts.

000.

|Jul. 30 2020|

what this is about

I am a 22 year old, recent college graduate who is trying to figure things out in life. Until now, I have been fairly quiet and often refrained from expressing certain opinions. Part of the reason is due to my personality but the main reason was because, at that moment, it was a waste of time. I was usually too busy trying to get to my destination or working.

I have now reached a point in life that allows me to spend time thinking and contemplating. And so, I thought it would be fun to start a blog - even if no one ends up reading them.

This page will mostly consist of random topics that I feel like writing about with no consistent schedule. Some may be 3 AM thoughts and others may be about current events - who knows. In the future, I do have plans to begin writing about specific genres/topics and upload them onto a more formal platform.

001.

|Aug. 9 2020|

figuring things out

Begin.
Today is the last day of my summer vacation before I set foot in the corporate world. And so, I decided to write about some thoughts as I try to figure out my next step in life.

The Prerequisite.
In my experience, there is a prerequisite to chasing your dreams. You need time and money, or more specifically you need a backup. Something like your parents or network helping you out. For most of my life, I did not have that prerequisite. So, I ended up chasing immediate and tangible goals given to me by society. In middle school, I needed to get good grades. In high school, I needed to get into a good college. In college, I needed to get into a good company. And now, I did. So what now?

What I Can Become vs What I Should Become.
Kids are always faced with the age old question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" And I would always ask myself, "what CAN I be?""
Like anyone, I went through some phases. My dream went from being a singer, to a dancer, film editor, and film director. Most of these career paths are what people call "creative" jobs and sometimes looked down upon by traditional "corporate" workers. My parents had no problem with this - at least until I was nine.
When I turned nine, everything went to financial shit. It was at this point that my parents shoo'ed away the idea of "creative" jobs. That being said, I don't blame them as I understood what they meant. I also did not have a strong desire to pursue any of those fields, I was only interested in them. Could those interests have blossomed into a passion? Maybe, I don't know.
Then when I turned eleven, some adult asked me "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Instead of asking what I can be, I instinctively asked myself, "what SHOULD I be?"

Passions are a Luxury.
"Follow your dreams." That is one beautiful saying. But in my opinion, that is the one of the most irresponsible things you can say to someone. There is so much one does not know about the other person to make such a statement.
Everyone wants to "follow their dreams." The issue is that some people just can't. Even if they decided to take that huge risk, there are so many variables in life that can throw them off course, and at that point, they lost everything. Sure, it would be amazing to make a living doing something that you enjoy but even thinking about your passion, is a luxury.
The reality is, it is incredibly difficult for someone without the time and money, to take a risk. It's much easier to follow the traditional route that society has laid out for you. This can often feel like you are living someone else's life. Because of this, I believe most people end up making a compromise, chasing something they don't hate or love, but at most, "like."

End.
This summer was my last summer for the foreseeable future. I decided to drop any "work" related activities and instead do things I enjoyed. I watched Netflix, ate home cooked food, learned about photography, danced, and slept. It was great.
All this time, also gave me the chance to think about my life. What's my next goal? Where am I headed? Do I just work until I die? What do I want to become? More importantly, what can I become? I don't have any answers, but all I know is that I am finally at a point where I can begin taking the first step to answering the age old question: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"